Consumed.

I thought things were fine... I thought they were good. I was happy, and in that happiness, I suppose I only did what was natural. I started to want more.

After I had tamed Melvina with fear, I had started to bore of her even more. I resisted the temptations mostly well here, oh! I was doing so good. I even had time to make more friends, and draw. Then, problems set in. I ran out of painting supplies, and money (nobody had hired me, much to my disdain). Yet, that was just the beginning. Melvina approached me one night, at the tavern. We got into talking, and somehow we got onto the subject of long past proportions. It must be this which had led me to inquire about love once more.

"Love me," I pleaded. Yet, she said no. I considered doing many things to inflict harm on her, but it was then that I realized, however much I might try to ignore it, she was the only thing that fed my temptation. My thoughts revolved around her. Her denying me, AGAIN, was a knife through the heart, and I was going to garner my revenge in some way. I was going to leech her of all emotions, I was going to -feed- upon her very core.

Before Darkfall even sets in, I shall have saited my hunger and stored plenty of nutrition for the storm season.

A sight for sore eyes.

I've been found.

Melvina is in the city too. Whether or not any of the family has followed her yet remains a mystery to me, but I am certain of one thing; I must ensure she does not speak.

Temptation is fickle with me, for each time I see her, a yearning sprouts up within me. A yearning for past experiences and... oh! Even writing about it is difficult, and so, I simply won't.

Blast! She'll ruin everything. After nearly a year of my hard work in getting my supplies back, of surviving, of etching out a place in society, only to have her come here filled with knowledge that shall have me killed in a moment? No, this is not good.

And to that extent, I did what I had to. When I saw her shuddering before me, and perhaps even before that when I spoke to her (without a sharp point threatening to poke out her eye) I believe a new temptation came upon me.

Not one to be one with her beauty... but rather, to see, to hear, to experience through senses her emotions. It was wonderful. Master spoke of this, but I don't think I ever really took notice of it until now. The body is like a canvas in itself, and emotions it's paint. So it was that by my actions that I enticed paint to flow from her pores...

The paints of fear.

Living the Life

Seahaven has left its mark on me. Out of all things that had first to happen to me upon entering, maybe this is the worst. Then again, death is always there. Perhaps preferable though in sight of losing my supplies.

I was robbed. Kindly enough, they left me only beaten, not dead. My supplies are gone though, most of my money (I had a few shillings kept in my pockets - they only searched my satchel), and my feelings of Seahaven; diminished. I am not as hopeful as I once was, and yet I can take comfort in the fact that this was an unbiased, simple robbery. Nothing more, nothing less. Had it been an attack for what I have done, they probably would have driven an axe across my neck and I would have seen no more.

Therefore, I am thankful.

But my supplies! All are gone, and if I am to have food to last me, I can hardly go out and rebuy them. My best bet is to try and find slight work around the city once I recover completely (I currently lay in a hospital bed as I write this). Then, I can start to rebuild my funds, and eventually get my things back.

Melchior be with me through the dark times which are bound to come.

Enter Seahaven

And there it is, the brilliant walls where I shall be trapped into. Yet still, where else am I to lose myself? A cesspool of bodies seems logical, and perhaps there I shall find creative minds with who I may mingle.

One things for certain, I must resist it. The gnawing temptation in the back of my mind is not becoming of a great servant of Melchior, and I shall not deal with it's hunger, nor the consequences it may cause. I have seen first hand that it's not a good thing (though it felt so very good...). Ever since that day, I have had to change my lifestyle. Living in master's closet, for fear of the guard. Father must be furious... and oh, Melvina. Little Melvina. May I see her again some day, for even though I've done this to her, I still wish to look upon her, no matter the temptation.

Still, all else pales in comparison to Seahaven. Though the things I've heard about it from the people of Milford haven't been positive, it seems a certainty that I may find something here. Inspiration I've been looking for ever since Master died, unity I've been without, a stable job doing what I love. It's a sea of opportunity.

Yet, it's always gnawing and biting, and I fear the fair maidens here might prove too... much of an inspiration. I must not bite back. Quite down, temptation, I'm trying to enjoy the sea.